Blogging & Privacy of “Older” Kids
This post was written on April 2nd, 2011
I recently read on a popular blog that the writer would not longer be maintaining it since her kids were “older” and she wanted to “protect their privacy”.
What about when they were younger? I do get, in a sense, what she is referring to. Teenagers are sensitive to what their parents share, and they tend to be private creatures. But who said as a parent and a blogger we have to write personal stuff about them to keep blogging? Was it only fun to write about them as toddlers? What about how they felt then? I mean, obviously they couldn’t read at the time, but some day they will.
Will the stories of their toddler days be any less embarrassing than the teen years?
I have read posts written by other moms about toddlers AND teens that I considered inappropriate. But that’s just my opinion. I follow several blog of moms with toddlers and other that have teens… it CAN be done tastefully.
Same goes with writing about our significant others. I’ve read embarrassing stories about husbands and the “awful” things that they do in the privacy of their home; while thinking to myself “how inappropriate that this is posted on the internet for millions to read… I wonder how he feels about it?” To me, it’s disrespectful. Sugar Daddy isn’t perfect, but it’s not my place to write about his private life on my blog.
And it’s the same with my kids.
I post things that they say, but I don’t post the intimate conversations that we have as a family. I post about the sarcasm only to help other mothers that might be dealing with the same, but I won’t post something personal that my child might be going through.
When you write about your children or your spouse, do you consider how they might feel if they read it some day? I do. But I’m still able to share our lives and hopefully help someone else in doing so.
The lady that decided to quit blogging to spare her older kids isn’t fooling me. I think she just got burned out from blogging. And that’s fine. But when I read some of the posts she wrote about her kids I have a difficult time believing that their privacy was the driving force behind ending it.
Yes, I’m slightly annoyed by moms stating that they are no longer writing because their kids are older. Really, is there nothing else for them to write about than very personal issues concerning their children?
What about you? If you are a mom blogger is your blog only to journal the life of your children while he/she is a baby/toddler? Or do you foresee writing stories of their tween and teen days as well? Would you be mortified as a teenager if your mother blogged? My kids think it’s cool! (but I don’t post embarrassing stories of them)
April 2nd, 2011 at 6:44 pm
I don’t have teenagers so I don’t really understand why a person would stop blogging because of the teenagers but I guess to each his/her own.
I always have my husband read what I write before I post it. I write a lot about him and our family and I want to make sure that he is okay with it before I post it on the Internet. There have been a couple times that he has said no I shouldn’t post it and I respected his opinion and I didn’t post it.
SugarMama Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 7:01 pm
And I agree “to each his own” but I was feeling the need to defend blogging as a mother of teenagers… because it can be done. My husband doesn’t read my blog, but like you, I always let him know when I’ll be posting something about him. And the same for my kids.
Have a great weekend!
April 2nd, 2011 at 8:18 pm
I don’t have teenagers either but I was one so I feel completely confident saying that everything a parent does or says is embarrassing. Seriously, I think that there are certain things that should never be written about because it is an invasion of privacy. I always remind myself that once I hit ‘post’ then I have no control over who reads it. I make sure I’m ok with that before I post it. I write a lot about family but it’s mostly about me, how I see things or how things make me feel. I hope to continue to do so as Abby grows into a teenager because it’s my outlet. If she doesn’t want certain things out there, I will respect that but there’s more to my life than just being a mom (not much more but some!).
April 3rd, 2011 at 2:46 am
I dont have teenagers, but 2 kids and well I am thinking before I write or post pictures. Like even about even their tantrums and other stuff, definitely no naked pictures. But yeas, to each his own.
April 3rd, 2011 at 12:36 pm
I agree that there is a tasteful and respectful way to portray your children on your blog. And yes I have read some blogs that I felt were extremely offensive to their children.
It’s all in the way you do it. Besides, making fun of myself or my husband is way funner.
SugarMama Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 4:18 pm
It is WAY more fun to make fun of myself.
April 3rd, 2011 at 11:53 pm
yes. i think it wise to always consider others, no matter their age. i blog little about my family and never anything too risky
i would be devastated to learn that i had hurt or embarrassed my husband or child(or friend, or ANYONE!) it has really surprised me, some of the oversharing i’ve read. thinking before you write(speak or do) anything is a great habit to get into for anyone 
(and p.s. you are an excellent, thoughtful and balanced writer AND mom. what a treat it always is to visit your blog!)
xo
(p.p.s. um, how is the weekend over already!?)
April 4th, 2011 at 5:05 am
Granted my son is only 17 months old, but I don’t know why anyone would stop blogging because their children are older. I try not to write anything too embarass my child or my husband for that matter on my blog. I also hope that my blogging isn’t defined by my children or family. I would hope that I have more to offer than just oversharing family stories where this would never even be an issue.
April 4th, 2011 at 6:18 pm
You mentioned some good points about the “Mom blogger” not fooling you. My kids are not teenagers but I don’t think that I would stop blogging because they want their privacy. I am somewhat in awe that she would give up an innocent passion unless she was going into too much detail. A little mystery adds intrigue so if blogging was a hobby of hers that she enjoyed, I hope she will return with a creative way to keep her blog alive. http://CleverlyChanging.com
April 5th, 2011 at 12:20 am
When we first started our blog a couple of months ago, my sweetie absolutely insisted that we protect the kids by trying to stay incognito. Not that all our friends and neighbors don’t know who we are anyway…with 12 kids even in Utah we tend to stick out a bit. But the hardest part of blogging for me is making sure I don’t hurt anyone. Not now…not ever. I’ve had people (even my kids) suggest that I write this story or that story and I’ve just had to say no. My blog is a positive blog so if you want to hear about families dissing on each other, don’t come by…but it you want fun, chaos, love, and family…come on over!
Sandy
http://www.twelvemakesadozen.blogspot.com
SugarMama Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 8:12 am
There have been several stories that I wanted to post dealing with motherhood that I didn’t because of my fear of hurting someone’s feelings. Even this post was borderline for me, as it sounds like I’m judging. That was not my intention. I just wanted to open up the discussion of blogging with older kids. I’ll be checking out your blog today. I don’t have 12 kids, but I have 3 kids and 7-8 daycare kids…. so during the day I’m almost there!
April 5th, 2011 at 7:05 am
I’m not sure if I will continue to discuss my children as they age. I guess it’s really up to them. I have a blogging friend who has a teenager daughter who asked her not to write about her or share photos of her on her blog. Can’t really argue with that can you? If they specifically ask not to be included, I think the choice is made for you. In my case, I don’t share much about my children specifically, other than when they say something remarkably funny that I can’t NOT share! But, I try to make my blog more about motherhood and less about my specific children. I didn’t start my blog for them, I started it for me and that’s what I like to write about; me. I’m selfish like that I guess!
SugarMama Reply:
April 5th, 2011 at 8:10 am
That’s a good point; if my children ask me not to include them I will discuss it with them at that point. For now they don’t mind, in fact, they’ll give me ideas of things to post.
April 5th, 2011 at 10:30 pm
I am SO glad you brought this topic up – I was discussing this VERY THING just a couple weeks ago with a friend of mine. I don’t have children (though I am a stepmom to my husband’s daughter – but she lives in another state with her mom, so I don’t see her often) but I am married and my friends, hubs & MIL all read my blog. I do ocassionally blog about experiences that involve any of them, but I always clear it with them beforehand. I’d never imagine airing their laundry out online for all the world to read, and I don’t agree with anyone else doing it. Especially about their children.
Like you, I could see blogging about my own revelations on motherhood (when I become a mom) and perhaps even a random quote now and then from my children, but I’d never blog the personal details of their lives. One time I did post about an activity I did with my step daughter (and I had her permission AND my husbands permission) but I didn’t tell her mom and her mom got upset over it. We ended up talking it all out, and I left the post up because it really wasn’t personal at all (just had a couple pics of the back of her head) and we were fine. But it gave me a reality check that because whether or not they are old enough to understand – that is THEIR life, their struggles, their triumphs, etc. and honestly my life isn’t just relaying their life. I think this is why I am against the idea of becoming a “mommy blogger.” Yes, I will be a mom. Yes I will blog. But I will not be a stereotypical “mommy blogger” so help me Lord…
SugarMama Reply:
April 6th, 2011 at 8:25 am
Couldn’t help but laugh at your last line! I don’t post the names of my children, but I’m not completely opposed to it, it’s just one way I felt I could help with their privacy. I do, obviously, post pictures of them. When I write about motherhood I try to write it in a vague sense, not directing everything to my children. If I wanted to write a specific blog about only my children I would have set it up as a family blog and password protected it. When you have kids of your own you’ll figure it out…. I think some people forget that millions can view their blog when they post certain things.