Daily Dose of Sugar Mama

He is 5 years older than me. We have very little in common. But he knows me better than almost anyone else (besides Sugar Daddy). He has seen me in my most embarrassing moments. He has heard me have a break down and seen me at my happiest and most proud moments (when I first became a mother). He has never judged me, but he is very honest with me.

When we were younger he would play school with me, his position always as the teacher. Later, when I reached Jr. High and High School I wanted to be so much like him that I struggled through French classes because he loved that subject so. I, on the other hand, was awful at it. When he left for college I would write him often of the daily teenage drama I was going through. I think that’s when our relationship deepened. After having my first child he treated me to a Tori Amos concert for my birthday. It was one of the best moments of my life because I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere, but yet, here he was loving me no matter what.

Life just would not be the same if he ceased to exist in it.

My children adore him. Not only is he a patient uncle, but he is the “cool uncle from California”. He lives in a big city and wears cool clothes (don’t mind the picture of him in a snuggie and clown wig… that is not his normal apparel).  After ten days of being here with Teen, Tween, and Girl he never got impatient with them. And through all of my drama and mood swings, he never got sick of me either. At least, he didn’t show it.

I’m used to seeing family visit and leave. It’s been a part of my life since I got married and moved away from my home state 13 years ago. But something about my brother leaving always leaves that huge lump in my throat. My eyes well up. My heart hurts. And I can’t finish a sentence about him without breaking down. Lordy!

I am a mess.

But it’s a new year. And I press forward. Because no amount of miles could come between my relationship with him. We are just cool that way.